My previous post sucks. Haha. I mean, I don't know. It just sucks. It's I already admitted that something but right now I really do not feel something. Okay, sometimes I do, sometimes I dont'.
Two weeks to go and classes would be starting again. Tiring 10 months. So many things to wait for. Trainings, entrance tests, and other activities. So exciting and at the same time pressuring. Yes, we're already Seniors. How's that?
Three days and review classes would be over. Yey :) So what's left is Match Compre, ACET and DLSU. Wow. I did not see how those 4 weeks have passed already. riding 3-5 jeeps a day. Haha. Oh well. I sitll haven't decided on what course to put as my second choice in my UPCAT form. I really fo find it hard to decide on what to write their. Oh well. Goodluck to me.
Yes, I would be posting again starting now. But I'm not yet in the mood to type something more sensible. Haha.
K. Bye.
Why does everything seem so unfair? Maybe because what we want is not what happens and having that feeling of "want" makes us think that what we really want is the right thing, comparing it to what is really happening that seems so unfair for us. Yes, everything is unfair but we only have one choice, just accepting what is happening. So what else is unfair? "People always leave"-OTH. Why do people need to leave? Can't they just stay forever with you? TO tell you the truth, I really haven't experience saying goodbye for real with anyone. Yes, I have relatives who died already. But they died before I was born, so I was not that affected. But this time, damn. I don't know how. I really hate changes and this would be a one big change again. I am already so used being with a few people. It's like, they are very important to me. They complete me. They make me. I am what they want me to be and what they are. So tell me, how can I handle that? Big change again. I know I got to move on and just accept it. Unfair again. I know what to do but I don't know how. I know that dwelling on them would not make me move in nor be in a good in condition. Oh well : Yes. Accept and just accept. There's still something. Why do I always have to feel what I don't want to feel? I do recognize what is it, but I just can't accept it. No way. I cannnot admit it to myself nor admit it someone. And I cannot really admit it to that someone. The bad thing is, yes, I got used to what's happening again knowing that it's not really permanent. I cannot tell her that what she's saying already is O-U-C-H. I cannot blame her for that, for she doesn't even know. What's bad is I really don't want the feeling because I know what's really going to happen and what's not really going to happen. She can't, and I can't too. But I can't help it. I feel it and it sucks. It hurt me, and it sucks again. If only I can really forget that easily and just not think about it. But hell, no. It's already a part of my everyday and the more that I do think about it, the more I feel that I realy really suck and there's no hope for it. It's really something that makes life difficult for me today and maybe tomorrow and the next coming days. So yeah, what I need to do is just to accept and move on again. Fine. But, I don't know. What's bad is, yes, I am affected, greatly affected. Okay, enough. I don't believe that it's really true and I am not admitting it yet. So why bother think about it? Oh well, I don't know. I don't really know.
Wow. I'm posting :D Haha. Well, I was moved by my posts. Haha. I mean, I missed posting.
Okay, about my post's title, well, here I go again. I am in the same stage again. Yeah, the stage that I've been going through and not going through for almost a year. It's hard. And I hope that this one would be successful already. I don't know. There's no point of making it still last, I think. No benefits. Not really a good thing so why make it last? Why give my time on it if me and my efforts are really not that appreciated? I need to grow. I need to surpass this one. I need change. I'm already tired of going back. The same things just happen. Yes, sometimes their are a-little-different ones. But I should not make big deals about them. All's been said and done. It's already over, between me and that person. Why linger on memories that would not happen anymore? No point of staying. It's over. I just need to accept that it's over. I cannot already change the things that happend. But I can change my view about them. Just be happy dear and don't mind me :) It's too late baby there's no turning around. Yeaahhh :) Go Lexi :)
Okay. So many events to look forward to. Fair, Intrams, Com Arts Week, EOP, Prom, TLE Week. Dang. Yes, very busy. Haha.
Wala na. Nawala na ko sa mood magpost. Haha. Next time na lang ule. Oh well.
I guess this time it really is goodbye. You made it clear when you said, I just don't love you no more.
Okay. Long time no post as I always do say. It's already 2008 :)) Wow.
Shitty blogger. The google group does not accept some skins' codes. It's like blah blah do not match with the end tag body blah blah blah and so on and so on. Okay. I give up. I'll just use blogger's templates and just edit. Yeah, edit. But it would not look that nice. Argh. Okay. Haha. Enough :D
I'm so addicted...with studying? Haha. Ewan ko. Okay, basta ayun. Anlabo ko na naman. Bagong taon na di pa rin ako nagbabago. Napaka-cute. Haha.
I want to go to TriNoma. Tsk.
Oh well.
At last, the exams' week is already over. I can say that I think that I did better for the tests this quarter than last quarters. Yung three night, nagpaka-owl talaga ako. The remaining two nights, well, yeah. Tinamad na ko. Haha. So how were the tests? Well, the test that I would not be able to foget would be the Chem Test. I was not able to balance five equations. Oh well. Bahala na :( The Trigo test is also an unforgettable one for the Juniors. 51 items, multiple choice. Even if it was multiply choice, it was really hard. Well, our section saw our papers already. I am satisifed with my grade :) Haha.
Friday, yes, the last day of the tests. The day when my greatest hearbreak happened. Haha. Okay, Pinoi, Health and MA were the tests. I was so lazy last Thursday that I was only able to study Pinoi. Ena and Elaisa came to our house. If not because of them, maybe I would not have studied. Thanks to them. Haha. I studied Health and MA in school. Pressure was there so it was effective. Haha. After the tests, we had a meeting for the new sitting arrangements. I left early because I had to train. Haha. Ang alanganin talaga nung oras. Okay, sa ten rounds pa lang ay ubos na yung sausage at kanin na kinain ko. Haha. Anyway, so after the training, Starr and I walked in BF then took a tryk in front of BPI then met with her mom in McDo. Okay, noon pa lang ay wala na ko sa sarili ko. Natapon ko yung nuggets ng wala man lang akong nakakain na kahit isa. Tapos ayun, we went to Starr's house. Nanoon kami ng TV at kumain at ngalakad. Haha. Ambigat ng marshmallow sa tyan. Haha. Tapos ayun, umuwi ako. At doon, okay eto na eto na. I rode a the Ever Ikot Jeep. I was really thinking if I should just go down in Sandigan or in Ever because the presence of a Fairview Market Jeep. So then I decided to just go down in Ever. I did not know that that would be the worst decision that I have ever done in my life. Okay, the last time that I was able to see my phone was during the time I was getting coins for the fare. Oh well. Then when I was about to get coins for the Fairview Market jeep, okay, no phone anymore. The pocket was half-opened. Iniyakan ko yung telepono ko. Haha.
Saturday, WBL Opening :) Wowiez. Despite of my depression we were able to win. Haha. We won against St.Scho. 19-13. Ang baba nung score nu? Okay, effective ang a bey bey bey ni Ate Barci, ang pag-iyak ni Ate PK at ang pagkawala ng telepono ko? Haha. Basta, ansaya :)) Then we ate in KFC Connecticut. Napa-heavy loaded ako ng dahil kay Kate. Haha. Tapos, I was dropped in Housing. Tanong sila ng tanong, saan at ano yung housing? National Housing Authority Friends. Sabi ni Ate Beloi, NHA naman daw. Ewan, yun kasi yung tawag ng marami eh :) Bago pala ko bumaba, ito ang hindi ko makakalimutan. Sabi sakin ni Ate PK, "Ingatan mo yung cellphone mo ah." Haha. Oo nga naman. Then I went to my mom's office to give to her some loads in my bag then rode the FX to Q.Av. Wow. First time to commute in Q.Av. Then, imbis na bumaba sa Examiner ay bumaba ako sa may McDo. Lumagpas ako. Haha. Naglakad ako. Tapos ayun. We practiced for PE. Di ako magtataka kung magkakaroon ako ng mga patay na kuko at mga pasa sa daliri. But thang God, wala naman :) Okay, I ate spag and bibingka. I even tasted the biko. Haha. Then Rita dropped me in Q.Av and I rode a jeep to Delta. Kung di lang delikado lalakarin ko dapat yun eh. Haha. Then I rode a jeep to The Block. My mom and my tita was there and they played there usual games. Then we ate. Okay, imbis na heavy loaded ay over-loaded na yung tyan ko nun. Haha. Then we went home. Ayun :) Tapos I started reading "The Witch of Portobello". Nice :)
Okay, ang araw ngayon ay walang kwenta :D Haha.
May dysthmia na ata ako. Sabi nga sa health namin, under depression but able to function. Ewan. Sabi nga ng tatay ko, materyal na bagay lang yun. Ang babaw, pero dalawang beses ko na iniyakan. Parte na yun ng buhay ko eh. Di pa ko makaget-over. Sobrang contented na ko dun eh. Mp3, video, madyo maganda ang resolution ng camera, may folders, may multi-shot, may bluetooth at malaki ang memory. Ansaklap pa kasi yung ericsson pa ang natira. Hay :( Ewan. Bahala na. :(
Yeah. New week, new sitting arrangement. Bahala na si Buttman.
I'm just a nodge in your bed post but you're just a line in a song.
I really can't explain the feeling, but I feel so happy and contented right now :) I can describe m happiness lile the feeling that comes into me whenever I eat Reese's. Haha. Haha. Mababaw na kaligayahan, pero yung feeling ang lalim. Ansaya :) Sana lageh ganito. Haha.
What happend to me? Hindi ako in love. Haha. I had just finished reading Veronika Decides to Die. It tooke me years before I got the chance to read it. I really want read it. And at last, I was already able to read it :) At first I was not having fun reading it. Walang thrill sa una at boring sa una. Pero as I continued reading it, it became so exciting. Yes, that's the style of Mr.Coelho. Haha. I love the ending :) Maybe Mr.Coelho could have elaborated more on what happend to the character s :) The book changed some of my perspectives. Next on the list is The Witch of Portobello. At last, I found an owner :D But before reading it, I still need to read my textbooks. Exams already next week. :S Oh well, good luck to me.
Oh yes, I'll do my best for the next quarters. I'll study hard for the exams. Addict na ata ako sa pag-aaral. Haha.
I did not know that Impossible love can lead to depression. Haha. I read it from the book. Here's the story of Zedka:
Zedka fell in love with a man who was alrady commited with someone else. She withrawed all of her money just to get into the other side of the ocean for the man he loves. Yes, they had a relationship. She stayed in cheap hotel rooms and waited for the guy who rarely called her until one day, the guy never called already. She went back to her own country. Then she alrady forgot the guy and met a good man. They fell in love with each other and eventually got married after a year. They were a happy family until one day she remembered her lover from the past. She missed him. She started hiring investigators to look for the guy. She made international phone calls and found no answer. She sent express mails and found the mails returning back to her. She spend a lot of their money without her husband knowing it. She was thinking that maybe her lover was also unsuccessfully searching for her. Yes, she became depressed. She slept all days and was up at nights. She even slapped her child without any reason and knelt in her child's feet asking for forgiveness. She did not go out of the room and even treated the bed as her bathroom. And so she was brought to Villete.
Imagine, many years had passed already, but what caused her depression was her Impossible love many years back. Haha. Lord, huwag naman sana mangyari yun sa kahait sinong kakilala ko. Haha.
But I do really hate that feeling. Yung pagkasayang. Haha. Oh well.
Click Five's in Trinoma later. I don't know if I am going but I want Kyle Patrcik :(
Being crazy and insane is not bad. It is just being not like the normal. You cannot explore life without being insane :)
Wow, malinis na siya ule :) April 23 ang kanyang birthday pero siya ay walang pangalan. Haha. Sabi nila mukha daw bear. Whatever. Baboy kasi siya. Haha.
Mehn. We're not going to Church again, but I want to. Their reasons are really not enough. Yes, I am so so irritated. Mehn. I have my points but I am not in the right place. Proving my points right in front of them would be like showing them disrespect. Oh well, my points are wasted. No rights for us mehn. No right to correct them. They are older.
I do love applying sarcasam, but I do not love sarcasm being applied to me. Mehn. Who loves people who are sarastic anyway? Darn. Okei, change topic.
I do not like to go to school. Haha. I don'k know. I feel s lazy going to school. Yes I am busy, but I do not feel so contented and I don't know why :(
FOB concert. How I wish that I was able to watch it. Too bad, I did not have enough money and I was SO SURE that they would not allow me so I did not bother asking permission from them. So I just went to Trinoma last Friday. Sinulyapan ko lang si Elliot Yamin. No regrets. His smile was so cute :))
OH WELL. I'M TIRED.
It's Saturday today and I'm doing mt homeworks right now. A four day vacation for the juniors,alright! :)
Anyway, this week has really been a very tiring one for me. I needed to collect funds for our class and the downpayments for the prom venue downpayment. Haha. How I wish that they were all mine. Anyway, I have no intention of klepto-ing (term from cha's multiply :)) them. Haha. Even if they call me kurakot. Hindi naman ako ganun noh! Haha. Trainings resumed also already. 15 rounds of jogging was a nice sign of welcome to the training. Haha. Oh yes. Of course we were not conditioned at first so we really got tires. During the start of the run, I think I was the first in the line. The suddenly, 10 rounds was changed to 15 rounds. So I changed my pace. Haha. I even said to ate nicdom: "Uy 15 rounds daw! Bagalan nalang natin. Haha!". Anyway, at least during second day of training, hindi na ko hinigal and I was able to maintain my pace. Haha.
Yesterday was our outreach. It was really fun :) Partner ko si Hope. Inaya niya kasi ako. Haha. Anyway, there. I forgot the digicam. Stupid me. I even had a permit. During our reunion I forgot the memory card. Haha. To contnue my story, we sitted at the near back of the bus. It was really so hot in the bus if you're going to ask me. But don't ask me. Haha. People in the back were really fun to be with. Of course, vanity was the main attraction in the bus and second was the eating. So while we were going to Marikina, pinagtitripan nila yung signs along the way. Haha. Nice. When we reached Boys Town, at last, fresh air. Haha. Then we met the kids. Even if it was called "The Boys' Town", of course there were girls. Kadors, Eur and KatGar were the emcees. I was asked to play Waves of Mercy for the Opening Prayer. Haha. Ansaya talaga tumugtog ng praise song:) At first, all of them were very shy but when we started the games, luckily we were able to convince them to join. The first game was Marimar. A pair (one student and one kid) should be able to shoot the straws in the holes of the cans then dance Marimar on the end then get the straws again. Haha. Napasayaw ng Marimar ang dalawang Bea. Nakakatawa:)) The second game was the one with the balloons. Haha. Ayaw pumutok ng balloon sa paa ko. Very embarrassing. Haha. After that, we ate. Acutally I really did not eat. I just drank juice. So jackpot with the iced cold orange zesto. Haha. Bea and I just sang and shared some thoughts and some our knowledge on the songs we know to play. After that, we ended the program with the Waves of Mercy again. My classmates taught the kids the action in the Waves of Mercy. I played it again. Haha. Napagtripan kong tugtugin nanaman ang walang kamatayang One Way. Hindi planado tapos kinanta nila. Aba. Haha. Then we left. During our ride back to the school. My classmates really waited for Game Ka Na Ba in the TV. Haha. Adik kayo. So when we were already back, it was almost lunch time. Aba, dalawa ang meeting ko. Sabay pa. Kamusta naman. Pero dun nalang ako pumunta sa kung saan kailangan talaga ko. Haha. It was our guidance period after lunch. We got the results of our IQ Test. Hindi naman nagbago ang aking IQ. Haha. Then after guidance was our CL period. Miss Malayas showed us two manila papers. Only in the Movies. Haha. Ang funny talaga :D Parang puro, oonga nu? Sayang wala yung lagi huli yung mga pulis unless yung pulis yung lead. Haha. Trigo was after CL. New lesson in getting the sides and the angles of the triangle. Good thing I got it easily :) MA was our last period. Shitty my test. Haha. Then during training, so many laterals. Haha. Then I waited for my dad for an hour. When he picked me up, he asked me where do I want to eat? I reminded him during the morning to bring my phone but he forgot to bring it. Haha. So we picked-up my mom and went to The Block. Eating Fetuccine Carbonara with Iced White Chocolate/Vanilla Shake with a Raspberry FIC is heaven but a sin. Haha. Anlabo. Anyway, then we met my brother somewhere then waited and picked up my sister near Lagro for almost an hour. Yes, it was really a very tiring day.
I'm already finish reading Mitch Albom's For One More Day. Read it for two days but I think that if I wasn't that busy, I could have finished it in just a day. Anyway, tinamaan ako. These days kasi I've been so so irritated. Haha.
The songs that my sister sings every now and then are really nice. Napakagaling magpatama. Wala Nang Iba, Alam Mo Na Yun and Lips of an Angel. Oh, really thanks to her. Haha.Oh well.
Classes are suspended. Naiinis ako na nainis ako kanina. Haha.
Oh well. I'm not productive during the start of the day. But I'll try to be later.
Ang cute. Nakita ko sa multiply. Napakacute :)) Haha. Kailan kaya ako makakanood ng gig ng Boomfields?
